To Know

I may have let go of my life a long time ago..
I don't know if I am waiting for something which is never gonna come. Maybe I am searching for something which does not exist. I don't know. .
I do not know many things. But I do think of the things I don't know. Did I water my flower this week? Did I leave my keys in the kitchen? Did I say that line wrong? Did I forget to say "Hi'"? Did I miss my chance? Did I let go too soon? Did I forget to remember what I wanted? Did I do right? Or was it wrong? Am I too weak? or do I act too strong? Didn't I see what I had? Can't I see what is comming? Maybe I held on, but didn't have it. . Or maybe I had it, but let go. . I do not see where my life is going. And I do not see how it got here.. I don't understand why I feel the way I do, think the way I do, act the way I do. I don't even know why I am sitting here now. Writing about what I don't know, when I know that I deep down know everything. I somehow just wanna let go, and see where it will take me. Maybe things will get better.. Or maybe they will keep going down. I don't know..
I may have let go of my life a long time ago.. Or maybe I am just waiting for it to start. Maybe I am standing right in the middle of it. . Maybe in the end, I will know. . .