It has begun.
I can feel my mind go crazy by time. I try to ignore the facts around me. I try to allow myself to believe I'm normal. But it's not working. I feel myself go mad as the time passes, like the rest of the people around me. I'm getting lost. I know there must be a way out. But I cannot find it. I'm trapped. Caught in my own web, as they say. No matter where I am or what I'm doing, I feel insane. My mind will soon explode. And I will lose controle.
I work. I really do work to make this better. I really am trying to resist the madness in my heart. but it's not working. I'm losing. I'm dying. Or at least my soul is. I cannot escape this pain. This torture. This insanity that rules my mind.
It's interesting to see how far I will get, before I break.

When he sleeps.

Ever been watching someone asleep?
It’s a very nice view to have. To watch the dreams as they pass by in his mind.
So calm. So relaxed. So peaceful. So beautiful.
It's good to be dreaming.

Morning's Here . . . .

.
"Morning's Here
The Morning's Here
Sunshine is Here
The Sky is Clear
The Morning is Here
Get Into Gear
Breakfast is Near
The Dark of Nights Has Dissapeared"
.

Friends, 19th episode, sesson 4.

The Twisted World?!

AS IF,

The real world wasn't weird enough already,

With the Aliens, Spiders and the Faries...

Then I create my own freaky world,

with Friends and Chocolate too.

HOW TWISTED CAN THE WORLD GET ?!?!?!

Living ?

You can hear your own heartbeat.. you can feel your breathing.. You know that you are alive, because that is the common sense. . .
But are you completely at your full senses?? Are your mind clear?? Are you totally sane??

Sometimes it would be nice, just to be able to pinch yourself, just to make sure you are not living in a dream.. cause yourself pain just to be able to feel alive.. Is all that really necessary??
Maybe not..
Ever tried to wish for the death?
When every heartbeat has been a torment..
When breathing has been like a fire down your throat..
When living has been the worst pain of all the agony in the world..

Pinch yourself once in a while.. It's healthy to know there is a real reality..

To Miss

Have you ever felt like you were missing something?
Something really important, but you didn't know what it was..

To feel there is someone close to you.. but then feel that the same person os the one with the most distance.. To be hoping you will stay together for ever, but be knowing that it is not going to last...

To walk with fear, every single day, each lonely night.. The fear to lose.. The fear to get lost..

Have you ever tried that ?? I guess you have.. but it's a terrible feeling.. to love someone so much that every day is a pain.. To feel that without this person, you are not whole.. but half..

I have such a friend.. A friend I care about.. A friend I love.. And a friend I would not be able to bear to lose.. The loss will be unbearable.. And the loss would make me mad.. it would drive me crazy.. .

I don't know these things.. but I feel it that way.. I cannot live a day without this friend... Just the though of being without this friend, is able to make the tears flow in seconds.. It's one of the few things who are able to make me cry. . It's a thing who can make me sad and depressed in no time..

But all I can do, is to hope.. Believe.. That my friend, will never leave me..

Do you know the feeling of being watched, while you do know that you aren't?
Or do you actually know that you aren't being watched? is it certain that nobody is keeping an eye on you?

I am the kind of person who like be alone. I am the kind of person who appreciate not to have someone watching over my shoulder all the time..
I am the kind of person who dislike to sit in a room filled with people. I would rather wanna be somewhere else.. somewhere without eyes and ears. It's not comfertable. . .

To be sitting here with a friend doing her homeworks, while I am writing something she doesn't even see, makes me paranoid. this guy behind me proberbly are able to see what I am doing.. And now others from my class entered the room..
In the moment anyone moves I hear it.. I feel it.. and I get the shivers by knowing someone might notise what I am doing. I know this is not what I am suposed to do. but it's not that wrong either. what else do I have to do at the moment? else than going back to the class I am trying so hard to miss..

No.. I am fine here..
I just need to get rid of some of these people . . . .