Silence

There is a silence where hath been no sound,
There is a silence where no sound may be,
In the cold grave—under the deep deep sea,
Or in wide desert where no life is found,
Which hath been mute, and still must sleep profound;
No voice is hush'd—no life treads silently,
But clouds and cloudy shadows wander free.
That never spoke, over the idle ground:
But in green ruins, in the desolate walls
Of antique palaces, where Man hath been,
Though the dun fox, or wild hyæna, calls,
And owls, that flit continually between,
Shriek to the echo, and the low winds moan,—
There the true Silence is, self-conscious and alone.

.

"Silence" by Thomas Hood

Magic . . .

Have you ever woken up, looked at the time, and found something strange about your surroundings? Have you ever felt some special force comming up on you, just because you seem tired, and empty in your head.. or maybe just because the time says 00.00 ? what does 00.00 mean? it's the time of nothing.. the time of emptyness.. It's the time who starts a new day.. Nothing have happened jet.. you are blank.. and you can honestly say, "I haven't done anything today.. Nothing at all.." It's a strange feeling.. This little piece of magic.. I wonder.. Just a bit.. where this magic might come from..

Bleeding River

.
I know you've been hurt
Many a time before
Your heart bleeds rivers
Deep enough to drown

Thought i to be the one
To swim against the current
Swim against the force
The force that pulls one down

But no matter how hard i try
I can't seem to win this fight
I seem to be further behind
Than i was when i met you

I know that you'll choose
Where you want to be
Choose the heart of gold
And not the one for free
Choose the heart of the past
Belonging not to me

But no matter how hard i try
I can't seem to win this fight
I seem to be further behind
Than i was when i met you

No matter how hard i try
I can't seem to win this fight
I seem to be further behind
Than i was when i met you
.


"Bleeding River" by Copper Wimmin

With Life always comes Death. .

Have you ever felt death as something near?
Is death familiar to you?
Do you fear it... or do you long for it?
Are you ready to give up your life, for the end you cannot escape?

I don't think anybody is ready.. It's rare to be ready.. To be ready you have to prepare yourself.. You have to know when it's comming.. You need to know if you are certain to get old... You need to know how many years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes.. and seconds, you have left... You need to know this, in form of disease.. Or maybe you already have decided on your own..
What if you long for death.. If death has becommed a desire.. A need.. Something you are just waiting for to happen..
This can sound crazy.. But what if it really isn't that crazy... ? What if the insanity is to remain alive ? What if life is the true challenge and death is the easy soluiton ? Would it be worth it to take the jump ? would it be worth fighting for ? ...

Once Upon a Time…

. There was a Princess. She was this kind of girl nobody really knew. Even her parents did not know the inside of her.. To some people, she was kind and sweet. She helped where she could and gave the love she pretended to have. And they considered her as a very lovely person. To others, she was a cruel and self-centred witch, with no thoughts to anything but her own being.
The Emperor and Empress were unaware of what to do. They did not know how to help the Princess in life. And the Empress was certain that she would have no chances on her own. The Emperor may have ruled the empire, but the Empress of cause, ruled the marriage. And her word, was his law. So he would do nothing to stand up for the Princess, when she had her fights with the Empress. Even her closest friends did not know what was underneath the surface. But one day the Princess had enough and left the castle. The Empress denied her to go at first, because the Princess would never be able to take care of herself. She did not know how to care for her mother.. To leave her like that.. To go her own way.. There was no chance she ever would make it on her own. This was not tolerable to the Empress. But for once, the Emperor made her let the Princess go.
One year later, the Empress began to realise, that her little girl was no longer in her home. She was no longer an actual part of their family. So the Empress finally began to let go of her daughter. She had two more daughters who could become better Princesses. The Princess began to realise, that to leave the family, just made it torture for her sisters to live in the Castle. So she tried to talk with her mother, to make her see what she was doing. But the Empress refused to listen to the Princess. Cause the Princess was no longer in the castle. She was not a part of the family. She could not judge anything when she was never there. But how could she be there. . She could not enter the castle, without having the Empress throwing her right back out. The Emperor was just sitting on this throne, watching, and letting things happen. The Princess suggested the Empress to talk about it, so they could become okay with each other and remain a family. But as an Empress, she could not be the one to need help. No. The problem was the Princess. She was not right. She was not normal. She was the one to need help. But the Empress did not believe any help existed. So to leave the Princess on her own and refuse her the title as a Princess was the best ting she could do.

And so our tale ends. . What further happened to the Princess, you may ask her, if you run into her in the streets. Maybe you won’t know her at first. You have to be looking for a girl who is matching regular people. With a job, friends, and maybe a shopping bag or two. She will be falling into the crowd, living in her own little world. With her own empire and with herself as the ruler. Black heart or not. But to know her truly, nobody ever will.

.

It has begun.
I can feel my mind go crazy by time. I try to ignore the facts around me. I try to allow myself to believe I'm normal. But it's not working. I feel myself go mad as the time passes, like the rest of the people around me. I'm getting lost. I know there must be a way out. But I cannot find it. I'm trapped. Caught in my own web, as they say. No matter where I am or what I'm doing, I feel insane. My mind will soon explode. And I will lose controle.
I work. I really do work to make this better. I really am trying to resist the madness in my heart. but it's not working. I'm losing. I'm dying. Or at least my soul is. I cannot escape this pain. This torture. This insanity that rules my mind.
It's interesting to see how far I will get, before I break.

When he sleeps.

Ever been watching someone asleep?
It’s a very nice view to have. To watch the dreams as they pass by in his mind.
So calm. So relaxed. So peaceful. So beautiful.
It's good to be dreaming.