The Heart

He is in pain.. He is hurting.. He is being abused, violated and tortured..
I am hurting him..
I am not letting him breathe.. I am killing him from the inside.. I am letting him feel the fysical pain.. And I am letting him feel the mental pain. .
He is bound, and has no way out..
I am betraying him. .
I am deserting his trust and confidence in me.. I give him no hope to live by. . I am leaving him for an open hell and with a wish for death..
I wake up.. Feeling calm.. Feeling joy and happiness.. And with no fear of losing what I once loved..
Then i feel empty and complete at the same time.. And I know that my actions were driven by desire. "What desire?" you might ask.. Honestly, I wish I didn't know..